So tired

So it’s Monday, after a 4 day weekend– which felt like just any other week for me since I don’t exactly have work to punctuate my days. Today was kind of jarring as I had to go up to SF to meet with a staffing agency. Now, I know that any effort is worthwhile which is why I went up, but I don’t really expect a whole lot to come of it.Thankfully, I was able to have lunch with a college friend which was nice. But really, at this point, still jobless and having had three interviews the three days before Thanksgiving (two of which I’ve already been rejected for and/or are imminent, I feel), I’m JUST SO TIRED. My right eye has been twitching for the past few weeks, I think from the stress potentially. And I just wanna, I dunno, I just wanna crawl into a little nook and enjoy the next month and really take it up next year.

I’d love to do that and depending on how much things slow down, that might be a reality. But shoot, I can’t believe that I will have gone 9 months unemployed. This is so much longer than I expected and now I feel like, I dunno, I feel like I’m past the point of no return. Who will love me now? Who will want me now?

And whereas I know that I am still talented and I’ve been working on my skills through various projects, self doubt keeps creeping in. What if I can’t snap back? What if I can’t adapt and pick things up as quickly as somebody who has been working? I will admit: I really like being at home. I’ve read a bunch of books and I get to keep up on daytime TV. It’s rather lovely.

But yeah, that’s pretty much it from me. Tired. Twitching eyeball. Bad. Boo.



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