Post-breakdown post

So I will be absolutely honest with you: I’ve had a really tough week, feeling tired and run down. And then yesterday, for reasons that aren’t totally clear to me, I cried. Like, a lot. During awkward moments: driving to the library. Watching tv. It’s pretty much out of my system but I feel that really hollow, exhausted way that you feel after you’ve had a big cry. Continue reading



So like the cha cha, I’m going a little bit forward and a little bit backward (but with great style!) Had some more interviews in the past week and feel positive about my performance. But still no offer. One company asked for my references 2-3 weeks ago and then nothing so I guess I have to say that one was close but no cigar. I’ve had some nice, esteem boosting conversations with friends who tell me, you haven’t gotten an offer but you’ve made it really close which means that you have *something* and you just have to push it all the way through and make the sale. Continue reading

Friends and/or enemies

So first off, I wanna say that the graphic that I am using alongside this post is awesome. If you do a google search for “friends and enemies” you’ll find it. How cool that friends, when flipped, can look like the word enemies.

Also, I just watched “The View” (a nice side perk of being unemployed) and one of the guests mentioned this quote, which I think is relevant to what I am going to write about in this post: “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” It’s by Martin Luther King, Jr.

So being unemployed is tough. It’s tough financially (though that is not as pressing on me these days). It’s tough psychologically– you feel worthless and battered. And I think what’s worse is that you are kind of at the mercy of everything and everybody. The recruiter that never contacts you to deliver the final blow (it’s like euthanasia– be cruel to be kind, peoples!). The people in your network that you reach out to that conveniently never respond (after I get a job, I will be doing a lot of defriending, I’m serious). You feel like a beggar and it’s the worst, most vulnerable feeling ever. Continue reading

Recruiters off {partying} this week

So update on the eerie quietness of this week: not sure if it’s related or not, but apparently every recruiter that was able to convince his/her boss to let them spend a week in Las Vegas is at the LinkedIn Talent Connect conference right now. So yeah, that *might* explain why absolutely nothing is happening this week.

I found this out while stalking a recruiter on Twitter. I assumed she was at a workshop being sponsored by LinkedIn somewhere here in the SF Bay Area. But apparently it’s a huge affair and so let’s hope that this is why absolutely no recruiting is actually happening this week. Continue reading

Is anybody out there???

So I don’t know what is going on. After a few weeks of nice activity– interviews, emails from recruiters, etc– it’s deadly silent right now. Nothing. Nothing. What is going on??? People point out a few things. One, yesterday was a holiday for some people (Columbus Day) so some people may be out of office. Two, it’s officially Q4 so things are busy. But Lordy– nothing. Radio silence. Continue reading

Still waiting…

So yet another week where I have nothing positive to report. I did have one company ask me for my list of references and I got CRAZY EXCITED and started looking for apartments (really just out of excitement more than anything else) and just hoping hoping maybe this is the end. Then I talked to the recruiter on Friday afternoon and it turns out the company is down to 3-4 final candidates. This strikes me as kind of odd: 1 or 2– that makes sense. It’s come to 2 in another situation where I wasn’t selected. And it sucks. But 3-4? I guess a lot can be learned in talking to references to sway the decision one way or the other. But shoot, you’d think they’d have a stronger sense of who they want at this point. So just waiting and hoping I guess. Continue reading

Solitude can kill you

So let’s see– it’s Tuesday. This week has been ok. Sent out a couple of job applications and am eyeballing a few roles that I should look into tomorrow. Had a phone screen today. Not sure that anything from the past couple of weeks is going to work out– haven’t heard from the teams though I checked in with one recruiter today.

So in the Bay area, there has been a rash of teachers being arrested for illegal incidents. Some involve drug sales. I think one had to do with molestation perhaps. It’s becoming something of an epidemic. Last week, this male teacher in Albany was arrested for an indecent act with somebody under the age of 14. It was kind of fascinating b/c the guy was young (28) and Asian. And generally speaking, I really like it when young guys are teachers for young kids– kids always like them and look up to them. I still remember a 4th grade teacher at my elementary school, Mr. Lee. He was really nice to me. I’ve actually googled him a number of times wondering what he’s up to. Never found him. Continue reading