You only fail by not trying

So it’s been some time since I last posted. It’s been a strange week: I got a lot of response from a slew of resumes I’d sent out the last couple of weeks. It seems with job applications that when it rains, it pours. Getting responses and getting to interview is great but having everything mushed together obviously isn’t ideal. It’s hard to thoroughly prepare when your mind is pinging from one company to another. I just had two phone interviews today and now I can finally relax and enjoy the three day weekend.

I had applied to a role at a startup and then stalked a recruiter who seemed to be connected to the company to ask about it. He no longer is a recruiter for that particular group but we met up yesterday morning for a coffee chat to talk about startups in the Bay Area. I considered it an opportunity to just bounce ideas off somebody who was knowledgeable about the startup space to see if I had misconceptions, should adjust my job searching strategy, etc. Continue reading


Falling off the edge of the world

So this has been kind of a weird week. I had a lot of energy to job search earlier this year, since I was employed and there was an immediacy that was implied. Then this summer hits and things were still ok. Then a few big letdowns. And then things get super sleepy in August. And now it looks like there’s some activity– not as much as before but some. But my whole temperament is off. And inertia has somewhat set in.

This week, I’ve been having a lot of mini panic attack-like over-thinking episodes. A lot of it has been about the real point of this whole exercise of working and living in the Bay Area. Housing prices are getting ridiculous. RI-DI-CU-LOUS. A half of a million dollars can maybe get you a two bedroom house in a undesirable part of town with a poor school system. A former coworker and her husband are looking at real estate in the Peninsula area and a two bedroom condo, I believe, will cost about $800K. Lord. Continue reading

Parents just don’t understand / Don’t understand parents

So I yelled at my mom this morning, a fact that I’m not proud of. And if you remember back to the beginning of this blog, I yelled at my mom earlier this year when she made mashed potatoes in a most unappetizing manner. Today’s trigger: the internet didn’t work. And yes, there will be some of you that will say: it’s always unacceptable to yell at a parent. And then there will be others that will say: no internet, man– I would lose my mind too.

So the core frustration was the lack of internet. I mean– how am I going to job search and otherwise be productive without access to the internet? And my mom admitted she was the last one to use the computer and she is not at all tech savvy so it wouldn’t be too much to think that she kicked something or tugged at something she shouldn’t have. And to be fair: I wasn’t yelling at her for possibly messing up the system. I was really just annoyed and frustrated and yelling for the sake of releasing internal anger.

Continue reading


I quasi-watched a two-hour special on CNBC last night called something like “20 Under 20.” It basically followed young people who were vying for one of 20 spots in Peter Thiel’s startup fellowship program. Some of these kids were still in high school. It was insane how smart and focused these young people were. What was I doing when I was 17 years old? Shoot, not thinking about the problems in the world and devising innovative solutions. Continue reading

The morons amongst us

So admittedly the title of this post is a little bit strongly worded, but one of the things that has been somewhat aggravating during this job search has been the number of employed ummm, I’ll call them “underperformers” that I have interacted with during interviews. And I’ll admit that, without more extensive interaction with people, such quick judgment is a crude gut reaction to people and may not necessarily reflect what they are capable of doing or have accomplished in their jobs. Continue reading

School’s out for the summer

So this has been a very noticeably quiet week. I had one phone interview and that’s about it. From last year (and from anecdote), I know that August tends to be a particularly slow month as people tend to be on vacation right now. So I’m trying to tell myself this is normal and not to panic. I’ve kept applying for jobs but not much response this week. So I figure I’ll write this post, watch People’s Court and call it a week.

I did hear back from one role and it was as disappointing as all others. Now, I forget if I’ve written about this in the past– but the majority of the outcomes from the jobs I’m interviewing for have NOT been that they have gone with another candidate vying for the role. In some cases, they rescope the role (make it more junior or senior than originally anticipated). In other cases, they decide to keep looking for a better candidate (which is ok with me). And then only in a few cases (less than 5 in my experience this past year) did they actively choose somebody else who was being considered for the role. Continue reading

(Some) Recruiters. Boo.

So what I will not do in this ranty post is say that recruiters are the most useless people on the planet. I think anybody who has had to job search (especially during a period of unemployment) can list off numerous unpleasant experiences with recruiters. I know that it can vary (some are good, some are terrible) and that it would be unfair to make any rude generalizations about a whole group of professionals.

However, I feel like I’ve had quite a lot of experiences with recruiters wherein the individuals have been somewhat incompetent and/or insensitive. And I know that my beef, if there indeed is beef, is with those particular individuals. But I would say that this is one of the worst things about the job search process: leaving your life in the hands of people that you don’t totally trust. Continue reading

Alpha females can be scary though

So last week, I talked about being in awe of alpha females: those women who have superb self confidence and never seem to fail. Life is theirs totally to conquer.

I was chatting with a former colleague late last week and we got to talking about our previous managers– the ones we liked, the ones we didn’t like. One that came up was our final manager on the team (we have both since left the company)– someone that I would comfortably define as an alpha female. She has an immaculate academic record (graduated both undergrad and bschool from an Ivy league institution) and has climbed the corporate ladder at said place of employment.

The only problem? She sucks. Continue reading

In awe of alpha females

So I was looking at my friend’s Facebook pictures and started looking up the Linkedin profiles of some of her friends in a particular picture. And yes, I know that looking at people’s Linkedin profiles will only make me depressed but I did it anyway just out of curiosity. As a side note, my friend is a long distance runner so everybody in the picture was a part of her running club. So they are all highly accomplished athletes and uber educated, hold impressive jobs, married, superior children– superwomen who all seem to have their shit together. Achievements aside, I am obsessed with the attitudes of these so-called alpha females: I don’t sense that they ever thought they could/would fail whereas that is the stew in which I marinate everyday. From what I remember of some of them (I have met some), they are able to set and meet goals with the swift and emotionless ability of a ninja.

Now, I know that life isn’t easy for anyone. Everyone has their personal struggles and every job and opportunity listed on their profile could have gone either way (50% they landed a role, 50% they missed out on it). But looking at the people’s profiles on LinkedIn, I was just really consumed at thinking about how much success seems to come so easily to some people. Or if not easily, then the fact that they are able to be so successful whereas I feel like I’m a blob. Wait, not just a blob, an envious blob. The people who go to Stanford for college and then Harvard for business school (or some similar variation) and land great jobs– something about the progression seems so effortless even if they had to fight every step of the way. I think I’m underestimating myself these days and overestimating other people and their accomplishments so I know that this whole post is probably silly but it’s also my personal diary and I feel the need to blather a bit. Continue reading