So I started this blog as much for others as for myself. And I realized that bitching and moaning, whereas very satisfying for me (and perhaps for you, if you are into schadenfreude or the likes) gets really old really fast and ultimately creates a maelstrom of bad feelings within me if I don’t regulate.
I just finished The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin a week or so ago (I highly recommend it. In fact, part of her research involved starting a blog which is one reason I decided to take the dive and start this.) For a period, she starts a gratitude journal– where she noted things that she was thankful for. After a while, it got repetitive and pointless, so she adapted the habit into counting her blessings while doing routine things (like when waiting for something– during what would otherwise be idle time.)
Sundays are tough for everybody. For employed people, it is the final respite before returning to the working world, shielded from the outdoors and freedom and everything else we hold good and true. For unemployed people (like me) it is also really painful b/c it marks the end of the mindlessness before having to go back on the job hunt. And that is often laced with feelings of uselessness, rejection, frustration and things, I would argue, that are much worse than anything to be encountered in the working world (ah, how the grass is greener on the other side…)
At any rate, I generally hate Sunday nights for this reason. But I realized that I should really center and calm myself on Sundays– to best prepare myself to start the search fresh and new and without any emotional baggage come Monday. That, given my anxiety-prone nature, is probably impossible; however, I do think some exercise would be helpful on a Sunday evening. So, before this weekend officially comes to an end, I’m going to reaffirm some things to myself that I am thankful for. Not sure how long this exercise will realistically last but giving it a go regardless.
I am thankful for:
– the generosity of my parents for giving me the circumstance to job search without too much pressure– they give me free housing and food while I seek out my career path (I’m a very lucky girl)
– the generosity that previous employers gave to me– they took a chance on me in some way, shape or form and I hope for the continuation of it looking forward
– the kindness of employers for giving me a chance to come in and pitch my abilities. (And to the ones that reject me– it’s ok. But your loss though.)
– my friends and family that support me through this tough time
Umm, I think that’s good. Oh, I am also particularly thankful for the steak dinner that I can already smell my mother cooking. Yay for my life!
P.S. While I am an Asian female, I will admit that I have no idea who the child is in the picture that I used in this post. I found it while doing a Google image search. If this child is yours and you feel uncomfortable with it being on my blog, let me know and I’ll take it down. Incidentally, this is why I am very against putting pictures of children on social networks and pages that can be accessed by strangers.